Loser
by MouHitoriNoKei
Summary: Yet another sequel to The Letter. This is the same as Jumper, but this is from Inu's POV. Please R+R. There is still one more sequel on the way!!! ^_^


Number 3 of 4in this series. The same as 'Jumper' but, this is from Inu's POV. Enjoi!!!

DISCALIMER: Inuyasha isn't mine...damns it...

****

"Loser"

3 Doors Down  


  
Inuyasha's POV

[Breathe in right away,   
Nothing seems to fill this place  
I need this every time,   
Take your lies get off my case]

Doesn't she understand this is what I have to do? I mean, I don't question her motives, so why does she have to question me? She knows I love her, but I cannot live this lie anymore. I know this would never work, a hanyou and a human, so why do I continue to put myself and her through this never ending pain? It's like a cycle. Grief is followed by happiness, which is followed by death. My death will end the cycle of lying. My heart, filled with only visions of her, will be shattered when I hit the ground, yet, the void still won't be filled. Her love was so contagious, I couldn't help falling in love with her....

"Inuyasha, please step back." That voice belonged to _her_. I turn my head slightly, seeing my raven haired beauty standing there, a bit of sweat slithering down the side of her face. She was determined, wasn't he? She wanted me to step back and contradict fate. Would I? No....

"Why are you doing this? It's because of me, isn't it?" She seemed so guilty. I didn't know why. It wasn't her fault that I was about to plunge into the waiting arms of death. I only peered at her, not wanting to show her my own tear stained eyes. 

"In a way, yes, Kagome." I replied coldly, looking into the demon eye known as the sun. Such beauty, yet such horror.

After a few moments, I heard her innocent voice say, "Then, I'll go back to my time..." Those words pierced my heart. Did she really want to leave me standing here alone, with nothing by the devilish wind at my back? No, of course not. She really didn't want to leave. She only meant it as an empty threat that sounded convincing. 

"That won't change anything, Kagome. I'll still have this void in my heart left by you." I spoke the truth, yet, to see that look in Kagome's eyes hurt me. To see the pain that I had caused. No more pain.........No more. Just leave me alone, and stop making me make you hurt!

  
**[Someday I will find a love  
That flows through me like this  
This will fall away,   
this will fall away]**

She was the love of my life, well, besides Kikyo. She understood and she was always there for me, but for some reason, I always felt alone. Loneliness has always run through my veins, even since I was a child. I only hoped that Kagome could ease this pain and set me free from the binding chains of sadness, but such feeble thoughts were wasted. True love hadn't smiled on me yet, or had it, and the loneliness had blinded me in such a way, that I was immune to the love she gave me.

"How long have you been planning this, Inuyasha?" She spoke. So innocent and loving. She stepped forward, but I raised a hand to stop her. I didn't need her to try and talk me out of what fate had convinced me to do.

"Kagome, not one more step. This wasn't planned." Inane thoughts of escape cluttered my mind, though I knew I couldn't run away from this any longer. It's easier to run from painful memories, but to run from your problems is the cowards way out. I was falling deeper and deeper into misery, knowing that I was causing Kagome pain, and that's the last thing I ever wanted to do. I love her...

"Please, Inuyasha...Tell me what's wrong."

She'll never understand my pain. An endless cycle of hurt surrounds me, as I continue to live on, hurting the one I love. I must leave this realm and continue on to a place where I can cause no one anguish.

  


****

[You're getting closer to pushing me  
Off of life's little edge  
Cause I'm a loser   
And sooner or later  
You know I'll be dead  
You're getting closer,   
You're holding the rope,   
I'm taking the fall  
Cause I'm a loser, I'm a loser, yeah]

"I can't have you all to myself anymore..." I was being greedy, I know, but this was the truth. I couldn't keep her bottled up forever in the Feudal Era. The butterfly needs to spread her wings, and you can't keep the butterfly in a glass jar. Kagome, my butterfly. I won't allow her to wither away.

"What do you mean? Inuyasha, I love you, and I want to stay here with you." She was so oblivious to my plan. With me gone, she could live life her way, without my cold voice yelling in her ear. We both would be better off if I were dead.

"You have a life outside of this one. I don't. I don't want to keep you away from the people who love you." I spoke, almost smiling. "You've been caged up long enough."

I saw her trembling, sadness and fear within her gentle soul. "Please, don't do this. Let me help you." Her voice cracked slightly, hinting at the possibility of tears. Was she crying for me? No, why would she? I was nothing but a poor excuse for a demon, a waste of skin. She showed pity on me and loved me, but it was not meant to be. "Let me help you solve this..." Naive, she was, thinking she could cure the sickness that lay dormant inside me. 

"Kagome, my dear, the equation of you and me would never work. A beautiful human girl and a dirty demon would never work. I want you to go back to your own time...Go where you are happiest." My words echoed though the dawn. She let the tears slide gracefully down those pale cheek I would only like to kiss once again. I hated seeing her like this, but the torture of seeing her fade away in my arms was worse....

  
**[This is getting old,   
I can't break these chains that I hold  
My body's growing cold,   
There's nothin left of this mind   
Or my soul]**

"Why?" Did she have to make this harder then it already was? I was reluctant, but I looked back at her with eyes full of regret, the regret I had within myself for keeping her here and treating her the way I did. 

With a sheepish grin, I responded. "I told you, Kagome, the pain of not being able to hold you in my arms hurts me in such a way, that death is the only thing that could ease it." 

I saw something in her eyes that I never saw before. I saw hatred directed towards me. "You're so stubborn.....Why won't you let me help you? We've been through everything together. You've fought so many demons, and I was always by your side. Let me guide you...Miroku, Sango, and Shippo are here to help you too, Inuyasha." She sounded like she was whining, like she told me her brother, Sota, did a lot. She seemed to be laughing, and I wondered why. She was always a mystery..."Don't be so selfish!!!" She shrieked, tears engulfing her voice. 

I stammered, looking into her auburn eyes. "K-kagome..."

The hurt in her voice felt like a million needles being jammed into my heart. Maybe I was being selfish...I just...never heard her speak these words so truthfully. "Just forget about everything that happened! I love you and that's all you need to know!" Those words echoed through my erect ears, as I shielded the hidden tears that formed. 

  
**[Addiction needs a pacifier,   
The buzz of this poison is taking me higher  
This will fall away,   
This will fall away]**

Kagome was nothing more then a senseless addiction. I didn't know loving her would come with a price, but it was all worth it...Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, feeling her hand against mine...

"Kagome, please understand this is something I have to do." My voice trembled as I looked back to the sun slowly rising. 

"No, you don't have to do it, Inuyasha. Please, put the past behind you and let me into your life once again. Let me purify your heart and make you forget all the blood that was spilt by your hands." She spoke with words I wanted to believed, but my inner demon hissed, _She is wrong_...so, I sucked up my pride and said my goodbyes...

"I can't forget....That's the problem." He faced the endless sky with a smile. "And, I'm ready to go." The wind caressed my body as I looked back at her once more, admiring the elegant beauty, and I winked at her. "I'll miss you, Kagome." And, I took my final step, spreading out my invisible wings and flew head first into death, hearing on her sweet, velveteen voice. 

"NO! INUYASHA!!!" And, another faint whisper after that...."Inuyasha...."

  
**[You're getting closer, to pushing me  
Off of life's little edge  
Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later  
You know I'll be dead  
You're getting closer,   
You're holding the rope and   
I'm taking the fall  
Cause I'm a loser**

You're getting closer, to pushing me   
Off of life's little edge  
Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later  
You know I'll be dead  
You're getting closer,   
You're holding the rope   
And I'm taking the fall  
Cause I'm a loser]  


Falling.....falling away from her................I heard her calling.........but it's too late.....too late......too late to love her.....too late to be with her....Falling away....Falling....


End file.
